Hello page! It's the New Year. Let's start with what I wish to end.

I wish to end my studies by this year
I wish to end my current job by this year
I wish to end my laziness by this year.

No. 3 seems impossible though. Stressed out by money matters now as I am paying off my school loans and trying to bring my parents to Europe in May on a 1k+ salary.

I know its my choice to put myself in these kind of situations all the time. But money can be earned back, not time. Well, this has been comforting.

Blues

You and I, there frozen, after a war
Trauma, carved in my head
Once these tears dry up, I will mostly remember my love
I'm neither in pain or lonely
Happiness is all self-talk
I can't stand something more complicated
It's no big deal, I don't care
Inevitable wondering, people come and go
I was born and I met you,
and I loved you to death.
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even if you have left, I'm still here
The winter had passed and the spring has come
And again tonight, underneath the blue moonlight
I will probably fall asleep alone
Even in my dreams, I look for you
And wander around while singing this song

Will you be there - M.J

But they told me
A Man should be faithful
And walk when not able
And fight till the end
But I'm only human..

If I wake up tomorrow will you still be here? I won't know.

It's so interesting to be at the airport alone sometimes.. I witnessed something there today that I'm trying my best to put it in words.. Its quite a common scenario actually.. 

If we look closely in the airport, there are so many emotions going on in one place. While I was sitting at the corner waiting for Stella on new year's eve, this particular guy caught my eye at the waiting area. He looked like a Japanese, (a young but matured one and also very handsome hahah) okay but that's not the point. The belt in my view was handling the flight arriving from Tokyo. Passengers started coming out and he soon walked towards the glass and waved frantically. Being a busybody as usual, I tried to see who he was waving to... is it his girlfriend? his mother? his friends? A small boy about 4 years old then came running towards the glass wall and placed his palm against the glass in an attempt to touch the man's.. A young lady then came over with a stroller with a little girl, about 2-3 years old... and the kids kept smiling and smiling while trying to touch his hands... I presume they are a family. The wife was waiting for the luggage and had to handle the kids as well. Not able to juggle both, she told the boy to stroll his younger sister out of the immigration door to meet their father first. The man then rushed to the other side to receive them... There's this feeling I really cannot explain of the sight when the young boy who is really only about 4!! pushing his sister in the stroller out to meet their dad.. I felt like I was watching a movie, I presume they flew to Singapore to spend New year's as a complete family.. After 15 mins, his children are still grinning from ear to ear, the wife comes out with the luggage and hugs her husband tight.. I actually felt something in my heart I can't really explain in words there and then. 

I hope in my lifetime, I get to experience this somewhat nice simple feeling too. 

Happy New Year everyone :)